Who'da thunk???

Wellst, I've been 63 for over a week now and I don't feel any different than I did the last week of bein' 62...but I feel a whole lot better than I did for a lot of the time I was 62 and even some of bein' 61!

You know, I think it was on my last post that I used the term, "cancer survivor".
That rocked me.
I remember back in March of 2010 when I was diagnosed and I just knew I was gonna die and I was gonna die a relatively slow, agonizingly painful and ugly death. I mean, if you have cancer that's how you "hop the twig" as an ol' English gal friend of mine used to call "kickin' the bucket." afore she "hopped the twig", right? That's how both my folks went and so that was my experience.
So, now I know different and I have a new experience.

And my new experience is that I am a cancer survivor. I still have Multiple Myeloma and I always will...maybe. Who knows what they'll come up with in the next few years.
Right now I'm officially in what they call "forced remission."
They can't go in and kill off all the Multiple Myeloma cells because in order to do that they'd have to kill all my bone marrow which would not bode well for surviving that procedure, so I'm in the beginning of a three year chemo regimen designed to keep the Multiple Myeloma cells in check. I get my blood checked once a week to make sure that's what's happening, although the past few months was a bit of an anomaly in that I went several months without any chemo as my platelet count had tanked and they couldn't/wouldn't give me chemo until my platelet level climbed significantly. You run around with a platelet count of about 140 something-or-other and mine at one time skidded to 17! When I climbed over 100 they felt that was appropriate to begin the chemo again.
I don't go in for a chemo drip but rather take a pill at home...22 days on and then 8 days off with a batch of steroids every Monday.
These pills, Revlimid retail for, guess what?
$7,345 for my 22 day supply!
Thank goodness for insurance and thank goodness for Obama Care! I don't give a rats derriere what anyone thinks of him or his health care plan, all I know is that as of July 2010, insurance companies are no longer allowed to drop anyone's coverage for anything other than non payment of premiums. Last I added them up, and it's been a while, my medical bills were well over a million dollars and there's no doubt in my mind or the Doc's minds that they would have booted me long before they had to pay out anything close to what they have paid and I would have "hopped the twig" and I darest not think ow what that might have looked like.
So, I'm a very happy 63 year old cancer survivor, and I think I'll stay that way if it's okay with you!

Hi there...
I know I "broke my word" about being more consistent about blogging and I'm not gonna make any promises about gettin' with it in the future cuz that's kinda like a New Year's Resolution,,,i.e. it's meant to be broken.
I do this not so much for you, but for my journal and for my autobiography, "I Don't Do Rough Drafts" which is really written...or bein' written for my son so at some point he can read it if he so desires...for my son so he can know who his dad really is/was. I've only been workin' on that for 10 years and I think I'm up to the 1st Grade living in Red Feather.

Nuff 'bout that...

I had every intention of hittin' the computer and doing this last night because yesterday was maybe one of the best days I've ever had in my whole life!
Yes, it was my birthday...63, thank you...but I got to spend it hangin' with a bunch of my drunk buddies, 'bout 1200 of them at the Area 10 State Convention...the social event of the year, if you will for Alcoholics Anonymous in the State of Colorado.
You know, I've been MIA from a lot of stuff for 'bout a year an a half and not only was it good to see folks I haven't seen in a while, but to receive both Birthday wishes and congratulation on being a cancer survivor and a lot of the people making comments about either event I didn't even recognize! If it weren't for the name badges I would have embarrassed my self a half a dozen times or more.
The feeling I had inside was reminiscent of the feeling that I had at the Bowlathon that the Board of Realtors had for me.
There's an overwhelming feeling that I get that tries to tell me I'm not worthy of the love and affection that I get  and simultaneously I have this feeling of "schadenfreud". That's a word I came across while reading "When Bad Things Happen To Good People"...it's that almost guilty feeling that you get when something bad happens to someone else and you think that maybe it should happen to you...like dying.
Since my diagnosis on 3/17/10 there have been a number of people who have succumbed to cancer or another malady...and then there was Justin who we buried on his 29th birthday just a couple of weeks ago...63 year old guys with cancer should die, not 28 year old young men who die of an acute asthma attack.
Change of attitude...
I got to hear a couple of dear friends speak, Lew and Judy from Boulder. Both of them have significant, quality time in A.A.and I learn something from them every time I spend any time with them.
Not to take anything away from Lew and Judy, but one of the speakers, who turned n80 the day before I turned 63 spoke twice on a subject near and dear to m heart, God as I understand him. His name is Sandy Beach...yes that is his real name...and he lives in Tampa Bay, FL.
Both he and Judy made me cry, but I think I hid it well...I think.
I cried! I'm alive! I feel!
There was also an excitement over Matt coming up tomorrow, which is now today, and bring Ari, my 4 year old grandson with him.

I had every intention of coming home last night and doing this...

Even though I've just been back on chemo for just a couple of weeks, I'v had "parchment" skin for quite a while.Parchment skin is a nomer for skin that is thin and dry and it ears easily, especially where I have bruises that look like dark age spots caused by having a low platelet level.
Anywho, I got home about 11:00 and went to get something to drink out of th fridge and went into my home office and turned the computer on. While it was doing its get turned on thing I went back into the kitchen and noticed a blood trail on the floor.
That's not unusual ceptin' it, the tear, usually happens to my left arm or hand where I have no feeling. This one was on the back of my right hand and I have/had no idea on how I did it.
Now, it's almost midnight and I'm bleeding like the proverbial stuck pig.
Usually a little direct pressure will stop the bleeding and I slap a Band Aid on and it and I'm good to go.
Well, for some reason I could not get this one to stop bleeding. Now, mind you, this is on my right hand and because I can't get it to stop bleeding I can't get undressed, I can't brush my teeth and  I can't get my two lanyards off (my name badge from the convention and my glasses). I can however get a rag and clean up the blood on the floor and the counter in the kitchen.
I get it to slow down and I get some NuSkin and figure out how to apply some and,"OUCH!!!!!". It felt like I was using a Styptic pencil...anybody ever use one of those?
That didn't work so we got another paper towel and back to direct pressure.
Twas shortly after 1:00 that I got it to almost stop, at least enough to get not one, not two, not three but four Band Aids on it.
I woke up this morning to find that I had mildly bled through all 4 Band Aids, so I removed them and bled politely through my shower and then it was back to direct pressure and it didn't take all that long to get the  bleeding stopped.I put on some NuSkin, but no "ouch" this time, and two Band Aids and that has lasted all day.
Wellst, now I have cramping in my left hand so I'm gonna sign off.
Know that I have a love for life and for you.