Sadness...

     It's 12/14/12 and I'm sad.
     Not depressed as has become the trendy thing to be marked by an attempt to feel better via pharmaceuticals.
     I have been sad o'er the whole Holiday thing because I would love to bring about cheer and love and ... but I find myself 'bout as broke as I've ever been, however there is "light at the end of the tunnel."
     But right now I'm writing this and listening to the media coverage of the school shootings in Connecticut.
     I want to cry but I can't. I don't know if I'm holding back or what.
     I can't understand this whole shooting thing.
     It seems as if it is becoming way too often a news item broken up by commercials.
     I had a min i panic moment when I heard about the mall shootings in Portland because that's where my brother and his wife live.
     Life is precious.
     I'm still reeling from being a cancer patient even though I consider myself a cancer survivor.
     I trust my Doctors and am glad that I am in a state of forced remission.
     My stint in 2010 laying in the University of Colorado Hospital in Denver didn't really "hit" me until some time had passed and I was told that I spent all those months in the hospital because I was really, really sick although I didn't really realize it at the time.
     Life is precious and I can';t understand why things like this happen with a 20 or 21 year old kid killing his mother and then going to the school where she worked and killed 26 people or however many there were that died.
     I want to do something to make things in Connecticut but all I can do is pray.
     God, as I understand Him, is hurting to an extent that I cannot understand. These are His kids who died.
     I want to ask Him why but the "whys" don't matter.
     Some of us at the First Church of the Second Chance are studying When Bad things Happen to Good People by Harold Kushner. I kinda get what Mr. Kushner is saying but the something like this happens.
     I don't want bad things to happen to good people.
     I don't.
    
     Father God, please let Your Holy Spirit act in a mighty way comforting those who have lost loved ones in this tragedy. Please.
     Please Father...act mightily.
     Please.

Life as it is...

Within a brief period of time, which for me could take a week or so, I'm going to part time retire this blog from my website.
I'll keep it as a stand alone blog, but I've made a tactical error in that my personal personal (Not a mis-print) does not belong on my business website.
I'm not sure if I'll replace it with anything, but I might or I might not.
Ain't decided yet.

My personal life and my battle(s) with cancer treatments don't belong on a biz blog so my life, at least it's personal medical and private stuff will not be a part of my biz website.

That's not to say that my transparency is totally gonna get covered up but more like redirected.

I'm sitting at an Open House @ 1255 Redwood Ct. in Windsor as I type and live and breathe awaiting that special Buyer for this special House to come a knickin' @ the door.

They will, I know.

This is incredible...

Not to be redundant, but this is incredible...

"Whatcha talkin' 'bout, Willis?" you query?
I was about to make a rather large boo-boo.
As I type, it is Friday, August 10, 8:20 PM.
Today is the 2nd anniversary of my stem cell transplant and I'm not sure that is germain to what's been going on, but quite possibly so.

~~~~~~~~~~~oops, no it isn't. That would be the 25th. Seems I have 10th on the brain. My wreck which did all the physical...and some mental...damage to my body was the 10th of July, 1985 and my birthday is on the 10th of September somewhere towards the last half of the last century.

On Wednesday past I began a post titled, "I ain't doing so well" and began a litany of my woes that began after I got back from Oregon...see previous post.

That particular post was difficult for me as my pre-cancer pre-parkinsons tremors were making it extremely difficult to type so I saved it, I thought and got back to it last night and a good portion of it was gone!
So I jumped in and re-began where I had left off.

Sooooo, just a bit ago I logged in hoping to pick up where I had left off last night only this time the whole dang thing was gone!!!

I guess the universe was trying to say this was not the forum to vent about my ills...so I won't.

The doorbell just rang so I better go for now...I'll pick up sometime soon!

Sometime soon.......

Anyway, I was about to whine in detail about why I wasn't feeling too good.

Not the proper vehicle to do that. That's best done in person to a few people and chronicled in my journal...so that's what I'll do.

Suffice it to say in the interest of need-to-know transparency I'll leave the "gory" details to myself and those better to receive them.

I'm still trying to figure out how to balance ongoing treatments for Multiple Myeloma, treatments for the treatments and treatments for the treatments for the treatments of the... Get my drift?

I have long been a proponent of Real Estate as a full time job and part timers not only don't make it but they louse things up for the Full Time Realtors.
And I still believe that to be true  however I need now to say that there has appeared another soul who is trying to knit full time and recovery from disease together.
I need to know all that all working with me in whatever capacity be it Buyer, Seller, Selling Agent, Buying Agent, Title Company/Escrow, Lenders, Inspectors and the list goes on but not terminally~an odd choice of word for a cancer patient who at present is unable to shed himself of those pesky Multiple Myeloma Cancer cells entirely~may have loosened the grip on "time is if the essenes' at times. I/we cannot/will not abandon eentirely because that would be transaction suicide but all parties need to be informed of the time essences and the "time essence lieutenant" shall have to double-down on making all are aware of the clock in the transaction folder and to garner peaceable and workable IE frames.
And to throw the proverbial wrench, albeit a nerf wrench in the process, the Buying Agent, typically me has incorporated into his income portfolio an outside income source for him, not the transaction.

By way of an opportunity that lies totally outside the Real Estate Realm, and always...I mean always mindful of what is going too make me feel better, give me more energy, bring my mental status up a lasting effective productful and capable legalities through from A-Z.

 

It ain't rainin'!

Howdy from gorgeous Oregon!
I'm coming to you live and direct from my brothers hacienda here to Milwaukee, OR.
When I refer to "him" I often just say, "Portland", although he lives a little south of Portland in unincorporated Clackamas County...I can address an envelope to him to either Portland, Milwaukee or Junction Hills and as long as I have the Zip Code correct he gets it.
I came down...although it's not down, it's more like WNU (West-North-Up) last week to spend some time at a conference put on by a faction of that Anonymous Fellowship of ex-problem drinkers that I belong to and speak to them of my experience, strength and hope regarding my experiences before, during and after I became one of those ex-problem drinkers in March of 1987.
Wowsers...that's o'er 25 years without a drink!
That's pretty amazing and you know, there are people I haven't even met yet who are glad I quit drinking!
That gig was Friday through Sunday in Eugene and now i get to spend a week with my bro and my crazy sis-in-law...and I say crazy very lovingly...she's nuts in a positive way and I love her for it.
My bro is a master chef although for a living he's an IT person. His blog is:
http://beastinthekitchen.wordpress.com   and you gotta check it out. If you are a dog person, as he and his lawfully wedded spouse are, you can dig around and find his dog food recipe...it's grand and Nellie and Fioina, their two highnessii (plural of highness) are all the more better for their gourmet dining.
I lived in the PNW in either WA or OR from 'bout 1960 - 1975ish and I loved it.
I was living in Eugene when the word came from Red Feather Lakes, CO that my mothers cancer had become terminal and she had but 6 mos or so and I packed up and moved to Red Feather with the intention of just staying 'til she passed and then coming back to OR. Well, she made it for almost 3 years instead of 6 mos and I stayed in Colorado and so I now visit OR whenever I can to see my bro and/or to speak at conferences.
At the conference I just left I won the Grand Prize of an all expense paid...less transportation to and fro...for next years conference, so I shall return as an attendee and not as a speaker and that should be fun.
Is it ironic or __________(fill in the blank) that now that I have cancer I am returning to the PNW periodically???
Medicine has made great strides and the cancer that I have was deemed untreatable just a few years ago and just since I got diagnosed in March of 2010 and was given a prognosis of, "If everything goes right you might get 5 years to 10-20 years and maybe longer with the progress I have made and he progress the medical realm has made in the treatment of Multiple Myeloma ~ my cancer.
Wellst, I promised myself that I would begin the blogging thing more seriously (who me?)/often to develop the habit so I'm now going to skip over to one of my "Business Blogs":  http://petesrealestatemusings.wordpress.com  and post...
See you there?

Whew...

   I tell you, this gettin' back to work full time is tough on an ol' guy like me.
   I can remember the days when I could exist on 'bout 5-6 hrs sleep and have enough energy to get done what I needed to get done the next day...ceptin' maybe when I had one of my trophy hangovers. Sure glad I gave up the boozing.
   As a matter of fact there are people who I haven't even met yet who are glad I quit drinking.
   I'm still doing a lot of Dr. stuff, check-ups...lab work...etc., but not as much as I used to. And my energy level is coming bck but I fear maybe not to the level it once was drinking or not.
   I'm re-conditioning myself to spending more time at the office.
   There's still a lot of stuff that needs to be done at home and for the most part I'm getting it done.
   It's a little strange not having anybody around to "help" me. After more'n 2 years of having either nurses or caregivers giving me a hand I really don't hav anybody close at hand. Still got some great friends who are there for me when I run up against something that an ol' guy needs help with.
   Have an amazing friend who was born with the spiritual gift of fixing things as opposed to me who was born with the gift of messing things up. Be it my vehicle, and electric problem with something at the house, or repairing a shed door that blew off in a windstorm I can call him and somehow he does that which is impossible for me to do.
   He was born with a hyper fix-it gland and I was simply born without a fix-it gland.

   Went to lunch today with an old friend who wants me to find a buyer for his house...and I'm certainly gonna try.
   I'm starting to feel comfortable with the whole Buyer Broker thing...just working with Buyers and passing on the listings to those who are more suited to that.
   I've got an explanation of "Buyer Agent/Broker" on my website: www.livingindoors.com if'n your curious for any reason and want a "job description".
   Anywho, going back to the first sentence of this paragraph I was gonna go into into a thing about my arms but then I sidetracked myself.
   My arms.
   In addition to, but somehow complimenting the chemo that I take, I take a couple of different steroids.
   What they do, a.k.a. a side effect, is that I get these plum colored splotches on my arms which are rather curious. Some are less than the size of a dime but others are silver dollar sized or irregularly bigger.
   Also my arms and the back of my hands have developed a condition known as parchment skin. The skin tears easily if I bump up against something or whatever and so I bleed alot if I don't wear these black protectors on my forearms and motorcycle gloves, a.k.a. Michael Jackson fingerless gloves for protection.
   But on account of I had to go get blood work today I didn't wear the "protection" and while we were in Subway, I saw a little kid look at me and literally hide behind his mothers skirt. He didn't particularly like the way my arms looked...don't know what he thought but I'm sorry I scared him.

   And my energy level...like I said it's gettin' better.
   But I've started tis thing of being just exhausted and whenst I go to bed at 10:30 or whenever, as soon as I lie down I'm wide awake and have a horrible time getting into that REM sleep thing which makes it difficult for me to get up & get goin' in the morning.
   And then about once a week I just crash and I will sleep soundly after I get to sleep and I'll wake up after about 10 hours of solid sleep and wonder what time it is anf get upset with myself because I wasted the better part of a morning sawing slumber logs.
   Oh, well.
   Could be way worse.
   I'm a cancer survivor & I get to continue on even if I waste a morning or two.

   Wellst, here it be towards the end of June, 2012...my how time flies when you're having fun! This whole cancer gig has really been an Adventure, although because I'm a kid of the '60s instead of calling it an Adventure, what floats around in my mind is, "What a trip"!
   Adventure ~ Trip ~ Whatever, it really has been an experience.
   I've had just a ton of thoughts run through my mind since March of 2010 when I was diagnosed and that "since" just goes on.

   So to recap, sorta, I'm in remission...sorta.
   It's what I learned is called "forced remission" by those in the know.
   I still do chemo, which keeps me in remission, forceably so.
   They can't really "cure" me because Multiple Myeloma is alternately referred to as Bone Marrow Cancer or a Blood Cancer and so to really "cure" me they would have to like kill off all my bone marrow and/or blood and/or something like that which wouldn't spell "gud" for me.
   I take a chemo pill 14 days on and 14 days off, something called Aridia which is supposed to keep my bones sturdy*, something initialized as IVIG which I think is supposed to bolster my immune system and the Valcade which is an IV chemo that I get if'n my Myeloma markers spike. I get my blood checked weekly to check on that and some other stuff.
   All this to "worry" 'bout my cancer when the general medical consensus is that it's gonna be pneumonia that takes me as my lungs are weakened because of the treatments I've had for the cancer.

   So, I gotta watch out and not hang around people with runny noses and who cough a lot, dress warm whenst it be cold and currently wear a mask if the smoke from the High Park fire seems to be oppressing, especially white smoke which contains ash and other fire related particulants.
   Not this past Sunday but the Sunday before when I went to church the air seemed fine and so it seemed when I got home. Yet a couple of hours later I stepped out the front door to go to the car to get something and just got "slammed" with the smoke!
   I grabbed what I needed and went back into the house where I had the AC on, upon recommendations of my Docs who suggested that I have it on in the house and when I drive, plus in my house and at my office I have air filtration jobbies.
   The next morning I cautiously opened the door and the air quality seemed ok so I went to the Jeep and openned the door and said to myself, "What the heck?"
   Seems I'd left the sunroof open and there was so much ash in the Jeep that I thought I needed to go to the car wash and vaccuum it all out!

Tis really good to be back at work and in my office. After several aborted attempts which came to abrupt ends in which I wound up in the hospital I decided to pay attention to my Docs, some really good friends, by brother and sister and take it easy and not try to do "things" too fast.
   I haven't and all feels right.
   One thing about it feeling right, this back at work thing, is that my energy level seems to stay up and I don't have an afternoon physical/mental crash where I had to just go take a nap because i was exhausted.
   You know, for years I've been tellin' my Boss Lady Fran that there's something special about the air and the atmosphere here to RE/MAX Advanced and I've once again proved it by exerience!

   I'm back on the bloggin' trail!


*You know, that's soooooooo funny because legend has it that when I was like in Kindergarten or there abouts I quit drinking milk and no one could get it outa me why I had...'cept my Gramma who probably plied me with Oreos and got me to tell her the reason why. Seems my mom had told me that milk would give me "sturdy" bones but I had mis-heard her and thought she said "dirty" bones and I didn't wanna have "dirty bones"!

Whew...

I ain't even gonna go back and see when the last time I blogged was, but it was a fur piece aback...
Anywho, we'll pretend that it was prior to my last visit with Dr. Lee at the University of Colorado Hospital in Denver.
And actually my last visit with Dr. Lee was really my first visit in quite a while as he had been on a "Medical Sabbatical" and his return to UCH was questionable...but he did return.
Soooooooooooo, after his perusal of my latest PetScan, X-rays, MRI, CatScan and blood work his conclusion was, as was hoped...and prayed for, thank you!... was that my "forced remission" was firmly in place!!!
That was the good news.
Why does there have to be good news/bad news scenarios that go hand in hand?
Well, seems that in perusing all tests he came with the conclusion that although my Multiple Myeloma was well in hand, I was having lung issues identified as Fungal Pneumonia. Because Dr. Lee had been away from my case on a "hands on" basis, he did not want to say whether the crud in my lungs was new crud or lingering/lurking crud from 6 months ago.
He whipped out his prescription pad and wrote out a prescription for V************ade (close 'nuff), and said "You go home, get this filled and take it right away!"
So I hauled derriere home and went to Sam's Club Pharmacy and they didn't have it but called the local WalMarts and they didn't have it either.
I sojourned tothe nearest Walgreens and they didn't have it but called the 1411 oher Walgreens in Ft. Collins and found one that had it.
I thenst scooted 'cross town to the appointed Walgreens, told them what I was there for and the Pharmacist casually rang it up and said, "(sic)...I just had to do that...That'll be $2,700 and some change, please."
"Holy fill in the blank!", I silently screamed.
Out loud I asked if that was with my insurance and was met with, "Oh, you have insurance?", towith I said, "Yup."
So, she got on the phone as my insurance was noted in their system and came back a few minutes later to tell me that they needed "prior authorization" from the insurance co. and that with my insurance it would be $180.ish., but it would be probably 48 hours to effect that.
Oh, ok.
So I go home...now in the meantime my gout had been manifesting itself slowly for a period of a couple of weeks and where making my ankles and my knees sooooooo ouchy that it was beginning to be difficult to walk.
Well, that's partially my fault because my gout medicine had gone from $30 for a 90 day supply to almost $500, but with assurance from my pharmacist that it would be going back down to $30 soon. I'd been cutting what I had left in half and started taking it every other day or so and I'd cut back on my cherry juice (a gout remedy).
OK, sooooooo now I have fungal pneumonia, gout and thenst appears a fever of 101.8, or so...here comes the ambulance and back to the hospital I go!
I get to spend a day and a half in ICU where they managed to exrtact some f the crud from my lungs by going down through my nose and my throat, but no lung biopsy(!), ascertaned it was unknown crud and not malignant and sent me up to the Oncology floor...my favorite floor in Poudre Valley Hospital.
Wellst, I spend a few days there, get told that the V************ade is to be discontinued and replace by Zi***********, which is $2,200 but only $130ish with my insurance and get to come home day before yesterday, got to church this AM and am feelin' pretty good.
You know, I used to add up and get worried about all these medical bills, but I've just given up. I open them, 3-hole punch them and put them in a folder ad will get to them when I can.
I'm tempted to add them up in my head, but I'm not gonna.
I'm just dang glad to be out, home and feelin' good!