“Even when the sky appears at its darkest, the sun shines
ever upon you, love surrounds you, and the pure Light
within you will guide your way home. So trust the process
of your life unfolding, and know with certainty, through
the peaks and valleys of your journey, that your soul
rests safe and secure in the arms of Spirit.”
~~Dan Millman
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Friday, May 13, 2011
My most recent Dr.s appt...
After headin' down to the University of Colorado Hospital only to find out that Dr. Lee is on a "clinical leave of absence" and may or may not return and I came away with only seeing Denise, my favorite PA down there and got, as best I could, a good "report."
I'll know more when I go back down early next month and meet with Dr. Myint. Tis he who has assumed my case and as he was Dr. Lee's boss I feel I'm in capable hands. I still feel good about Dr. McFarland and Front Range Cancer Specialists up here and that I'm getting the best damn care and treatments possible!
Anywho, I went to see Dr. Cranor, my GP up here and after a phone consultation with Dr. McFarland my "forced remission" of the Multiple Myeloma was confirmed, it was determined that the C-diff was adios and my daytime oxygen was DC (med talk for discontinued). They also were quick to tell me that I was doing way better in all facets of my recoveries (the cancer, the oganizing pneumonia, the c-diff and my physical strength and stamina) than they had expected.
What I'm most pleased with is that when I "checked in" here to the rehab not quite 3 weeks ago, I couldn't even stand up on my own!
I've gone from bedridden, to wheelchair, to walker, to short walks without the walker!
There is, however an issue, albeit minor (?!?) of congestive heart failure, but as scary as that might sound I'm not to worry (like Alfred E. Newman? ... anybody know/remember him?). I'm going down to a Dr. in Loveland next week to consult on congestive heart failure stuff.
This has been, and continues to be quite a journey...an adventure if you, or me, will... and I go 24/7 humbled by the love and support of yous guys and soooo many others.
During the time I've been dealing with my "stuff", someone also in my office lost a battle with brain cancer. I soooooo wish she wouldn't of done what she did, which was isolate...from the time of her diagnosis no one was allowed, her choice, to see or visit her.
She had her path and I have mine and I can call mine a path because so many people have walked with me and I have needed you/them and am convinced, although there was/is the presence of the Great Creator/Physician since the very begining, I've needed human presence and touch and without that I'm not sure I would have survived.
Thank you...
I'll know more when I go back down early next month and meet with Dr. Myint. Tis he who has assumed my case and as he was Dr. Lee's boss I feel I'm in capable hands. I still feel good about Dr. McFarland and Front Range Cancer Specialists up here and that I'm getting the best damn care and treatments possible!
Anywho, I went to see Dr. Cranor, my GP up here and after a phone consultation with Dr. McFarland my "forced remission" of the Multiple Myeloma was confirmed, it was determined that the C-diff was adios and my daytime oxygen was DC (med talk for discontinued). They also were quick to tell me that I was doing way better in all facets of my recoveries (the cancer, the oganizing pneumonia, the c-diff and my physical strength and stamina) than they had expected.
What I'm most pleased with is that when I "checked in" here to the rehab not quite 3 weeks ago, I couldn't even stand up on my own!
I've gone from bedridden, to wheelchair, to walker, to short walks without the walker!
There is, however an issue, albeit minor (?!?) of congestive heart failure, but as scary as that might sound I'm not to worry (like Alfred E. Newman? ... anybody know/remember him?). I'm going down to a Dr. in Loveland next week to consult on congestive heart failure stuff.
This has been, and continues to be quite a journey...an adventure if you, or me, will... and I go 24/7 humbled by the love and support of yous guys and soooo many others.
During the time I've been dealing with my "stuff", someone also in my office lost a battle with brain cancer. I soooooo wish she wouldn't of done what she did, which was isolate...from the time of her diagnosis no one was allowed, her choice, to see or visit her.
She had her path and I have mine and I can call mine a path because so many people have walked with me and I have needed you/them and am convinced, although there was/is the presence of the Great Creator/Physician since the very begining, I've needed human presence and touch and without that I'm not sure I would have survived.
Thank you...
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Bowlathon...
Every year for the past 20 years the Fort Collins Board of Realtors has annually held what is know as the Bowlathon, a fundraiser for a member of the Board who is in "medical dire straits", and this year I was the recipient.
It was/is an extremely apprciative and humbling event during this Adventure I've been on for over a year now.
As much as I appreciate the funds raised, I am awed by the care, love and generosity of my fellow Realtors.
Wow.
It was/is an extremely apprciative and humbling event during this Adventure I've been on for over a year now.
As much as I appreciate the funds raised, I am awed by the care, love and generosity of my fellow Realtors.
Wow.
Monday, May 9, 2011
Hi y’all
Wellst I made the trek to the University Hospital
The bad news: Dr. Lee, my main Oncologist dude, is not at the hospital “at present”. He is on a “Clinical Leave of Absence” and that was all he information I was given with a hint that he may or may not return. I was not given a definition of “clinical leave of absence” so I’m sort of out there in not understanding land.
Dr. Myint is taking over Dr. Lees case load, although I did not see him today.
Just prior to finding this out I was telling Jessica who drove me to and fro how it seemed as if, similar to when I got sober in a way, that God just picked me up by the collar and set me down in the midst of the right people that carried me to sobriety and He did it again with my cancer, and that bunch certainly included Dr. Lee, one of the worlds foremost clinicians on Multiple Myeloma.
Dr. Lee and his expertise and guidance to my other Drs., including Dr. McFarland, my local Oncologist, (and I’m not taking anything away from him or what he has done for me) has gotten me to the place where I am, for now, in that state of forced remission which was and is the best possible scenario.
And as I know that I am in Gods hands, grace and protection, I am a little nervous/scared not having Dr. Lee physically in my corner.
I’m gonna be ok even without him, right?
The good news: I didn’t see Dr. Myint today, but my appointment and reports therein were handled by Denise, who just so happened to be my favorite Physician Assistant during the moths I spent inpatient at the University Hospital
BTW, she says, “Hi”, Doug.
What she told me that I am making progress, that my worrisome levels, Platelet, White Blood Cells, etc. were all looking good and showing good progress and confirmed the forced remission of my cancer.
I’m gonna be ok, you know!
Sunday, May 8, 2011
The State of My Health as of Today...
Well, this has truly been an "Adventure" as I promised myself it would be shortly after my diagnosis of Multiple Myeloma back on March 17, 2010...now, if you click on the Multiple Myeloma link you're gonna read about a "5 year life expectancy".
Well that's bull pucky, at least for me.
For just like when I got sober and God picked me up and set me down in the midst of a gaggle of recovered alcoholics who guided me to permanent sobriety, with the Multiple Myeloma He picked me up and set me down in the midst of a passel of Drs., one of which is one of the worlds most foremost authorities on Multiple Myeloma who , in a nutshell provided me with the following...at first he, they, told me that with chemo and a bone marrow transplant they could "give me" up to that 5 years, but then shortly after that they declared me a good candidate for a stem cell (my own stem cells!) transplant and then they could "give me" up to 10 years.
I had the transplant on August 25 of last year.
I look at it like this...10 years ago if one had Multiple Myeloma, they just said, "Go home, put your feet up, take some aspirin and when the time comes we'll call in Hospice." So, if in the last 10 years my Drs. can "give" me 10 years, up from nothing 10 years ago, what are they going to come up with in the next ten years?
Sooooooo, where am I today with the Multiple Myeloma?
I don't understand Dr. talk because they've gone to talking in #s, but "they" say that for Multiple Myeloma to be a real issue the Myeloma # has to be 10 or above...right now mine is 1 (one)!
So in spite of the collateral issues I've been having for a while, the cancer is "under control" and if we/they can figure out the collateral issues they can get me back on the chemo, which they had to stop because the chemo was contributing to he collateral issues.
Collateral issues?
Yeah.
One of the things that I was told when diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma was that there would likely be complications and that people most often died from the complications of Multiple Myeloma rather than Multiple Myeloma itself...so that means I'll be dealing with complications, a.k.a. collateral issues for a long time...so just deal with them, right?
So, here's the deal(s).
One of the complications that I deal with is pneumonia. I actually had pneumonia way before I had the Multiple Myeloma.
Now, the pneumonia that I deal with today is a french-kissin' cousin to the pneumonia that I had 5 or 6 years ago and was viral and bacterial induced. It's known as Organizing Pneumonia , and if'n you can make heads or tails of what that link sez, lemme know.
What I do know is that it's not viral or bacterial in origin...the Drs. tell me that it's "caused" by all the antibiotics that I take to keep my immune system in good shape and also to try and adios something known as C. diff .
And guess what, C. diff is caused by antibiotics!!!
Soooooo, I'm sorta caught in a no win situation as "they" try'n figure out how to effect treatments for my Multiple Myeloma complications/collateral issues.
They treat the Organizing Pneumonia with antibiotics that foster the C. diff that when treated with antibiotics cheer-leads the Organizing Pneumonia.
So, here I am at the rehab, getting better in my opinion...two weeks ago when I got here I couldn't even stand on my own...and trust that the Great Physician is working through my secular physicians to figure this all out.
Anywho, Matt is almost here with dinner, so I think I'll spell-check & post!
Well that's bull pucky, at least for me.
For just like when I got sober and God picked me up and set me down in the midst of a gaggle of recovered alcoholics who guided me to permanent sobriety, with the Multiple Myeloma He picked me up and set me down in the midst of a passel of Drs., one of which is one of the worlds most foremost authorities on Multiple Myeloma who , in a nutshell provided me with the following...at first he, they, told me that with chemo and a bone marrow transplant they could "give me" up to that 5 years, but then shortly after that they declared me a good candidate for a stem cell (my own stem cells!) transplant and then they could "give me" up to 10 years.
I had the transplant on August 25 of last year.
I look at it like this...10 years ago if one had Multiple Myeloma, they just said, "Go home, put your feet up, take some aspirin and when the time comes we'll call in Hospice." So, if in the last 10 years my Drs. can "give" me 10 years, up from nothing 10 years ago, what are they going to come up with in the next ten years?
Sooooooo, where am I today with the Multiple Myeloma?
I don't understand Dr. talk because they've gone to talking in #s, but "they" say that for Multiple Myeloma to be a real issue the Myeloma # has to be 10 or above...right now mine is 1 (one)!
So in spite of the collateral issues I've been having for a while, the cancer is "under control" and if we/they can figure out the collateral issues they can get me back on the chemo, which they had to stop because the chemo was contributing to he collateral issues.
Collateral issues?
Yeah.
One of the things that I was told when diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma was that there would likely be complications and that people most often died from the complications of Multiple Myeloma rather than Multiple Myeloma itself...so that means I'll be dealing with complications, a.k.a. collateral issues for a long time...so just deal with them, right?
So, here's the deal(s).
One of the complications that I deal with is pneumonia. I actually had pneumonia way before I had the Multiple Myeloma.
Now, the pneumonia that I deal with today is a french-kissin' cousin to the pneumonia that I had 5 or 6 years ago and was viral and bacterial induced. It's known as Organizing Pneumonia , and if'n you can make heads or tails of what that link sez, lemme know.
What I do know is that it's not viral or bacterial in origin...the Drs. tell me that it's "caused" by all the antibiotics that I take to keep my immune system in good shape and also to try and adios something known as C. diff .
And guess what, C. diff is caused by antibiotics!!!
Soooooo, I'm sorta caught in a no win situation as "they" try'n figure out how to effect treatments for my Multiple Myeloma complications/collateral issues.
They treat the Organizing Pneumonia with antibiotics that foster the C. diff that when treated with antibiotics cheer-leads the Organizing Pneumonia.
So, here I am at the rehab, getting better in my opinion...two weeks ago when I got here I couldn't even stand on my own...and trust that the Great Physician is working through my secular physicians to figure this all out.
Anywho, Matt is almost here with dinner, so I think I'll spell-check & post!
Saturday, May 7, 2011
Before I get "re"started...
To those of you who have e-mailed me, called me, or in person asked me why I stopped blogging...here I go and I commit to keep going until I have another writers block episode, either pharmaceutically or wrong spiritually induced or just plain extended sloth.
I'm not sure why I did stop, other than maybe I've spent a lot of time in the hospital since Christmas and for some of that time I had neither Internet nor cell phone access and I just got out of the habit.
And I commit not necessarily to you, but to me as this also serves as my journal for as long as I blog here. Oh, I may make some comments in my journal, but this does serve as my "main" journaling narrative vehicle for the time being.
And...I know that I am woefully delinquent in answering a number of e-mails, some of them going back 3 months or so :~( , but I will answer them but I'm not sure in what order...just know, please, that I will but it may take me some {but not a lot of} time to do so.
Anywho, fracturedly I'm back in blogging mode...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'm not sure why I did stop, other than maybe I've spent a lot of time in the hospital since Christmas and for some of that time I had neither Internet nor cell phone access and I just got out of the habit.
And I commit not necessarily to you, but to me as this also serves as my journal for as long as I blog here. Oh, I may make some comments in my journal, but this does serve as my "main" journaling narrative vehicle for the time being.
And...I know that I am woefully delinquent in answering a number of e-mails, some of them going back 3 months or so :~( , but I will answer them but I'm not sure in what order...just know, please, that I will but it may take me some {but not a lot of} time to do so.
Anywho, fracturedly I'm back in blogging mode...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Been a while, huh?
Well, yeah it has.
My fault.
I sorta became my own "yesterdays news".
It's kinda like the Japan thing...pretty dang serious and captures a lot of attention, but a short time later it's not on TV 24/7. Oh, there are references to "it", but normal life gets in the way and although Japan has become a conversation starter, it's not as interesting or enthralling as it was just a few days ago...yesterdays news.
Then came Lybia and that sorta took over the "front page". Oh, Japans stuff was still there and very important but it didn't take up the whole front page anymore and sometimes you had do get into the hear of the paper to find any Japan news.
Then came Elizabeth Taylor's passing and then sadly the news of Geraldine Ferraros passing.
Geraldine Ferraros passing came as a shock to me...not that I knew her or had an immense amount of respect for her, although I did respect her even if her 1984 Vice Presidential candidacy had slipped my mind {became yesteryear's news}...as she died of complications of Multiple Myeloma, the cancer that I have.
Tomorrow I doubt if any of those "items" will be on the front page, but lingering news of the floodings and bin Laden (although that "story" is becoming ad nauseum) and of course "the wedding" will be somewhere but not dominating the front page.
I just got used to going to the hospital, leaving the hospital, getting a fever and going back to the hospital, leaving the hospital and going to rehab, getting out of rehab an winding up back in he hospital, leaving he hospital for a different rehab, winding up back in he hospital and thenst winding up here in the rehab I 'm presently inhabiting.
Sooooooo, what's that got to do with my lack of e-mail communication and blogging?
Cuz I made myself yesterdays news cuz what was going on with me had become "normal", and for me uneventful even though I was getting shuttled to and fro a lot.
Does that make any sense?
But I've pretty much come out of that, am in a rehab that I can tolerate for the month or more that I'm destined to be here for...
And what am I here for?
Hey, that gives me a reason to be in communique after church tomorrow!
My fault.
I sorta became my own "yesterdays news".
It's kinda like the Japan thing...pretty dang serious and captures a lot of attention, but a short time later it's not on TV 24/7. Oh, there are references to "it", but normal life gets in the way and although Japan has become a conversation starter, it's not as interesting or enthralling as it was just a few days ago...yesterdays news.
Then came Lybia and that sorta took over the "front page". Oh, Japans stuff was still there and very important but it didn't take up the whole front page anymore and sometimes you had do get into the hear of the paper to find any Japan news.
Then came Elizabeth Taylor's passing and then sadly the news of Geraldine Ferraros passing.
Geraldine Ferraros passing came as a shock to me...not that I knew her or had an immense amount of respect for her, although I did respect her even if her 1984 Vice Presidential candidacy had slipped my mind {became yesteryear's news}...as she died of complications of Multiple Myeloma, the cancer that I have.
Tomorrow I doubt if any of those "items" will be on the front page, but lingering news of the floodings and bin Laden (although that "story" is becoming ad nauseum) and of course "the wedding" will be somewhere but not dominating the front page.
I just got used to going to the hospital, leaving the hospital, getting a fever and going back to the hospital, leaving the hospital and going to rehab, getting out of rehab an winding up back in he hospital, leaving he hospital for a different rehab, winding up back in he hospital and thenst winding up here in the rehab I 'm presently inhabiting.
Sooooooo, what's that got to do with my lack of e-mail communication and blogging?
Cuz I made myself yesterdays news cuz what was going on with me had become "normal", and for me uneventful even though I was getting shuttled to and fro a lot.
Does that make any sense?
But I've pretty much come out of that, am in a rehab that I can tolerate for the month or more that I'm destined to be here for...
And what am I here for?
Hey, that gives me a reason to be in communique after church tomorrow!
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Howdy...
It's been a long time since I did this blog thing {since Dec. 3rd!}and I'm going to regret it, I know.
Why?
Well, when time comes this is going to become part of my journal and maybe part of my "autobiography".
I have been working n an autobiography for probably 10 years now...it's titled I Don't Do Rough Drafts.
Anywho, a lot has happened since I last entered...
I was feeling pretty good, I think, which may have contributed to my lack of blogging and I was preparing to deal with the holidays and skating along until Christmas hit.
What all happened to me had nothing to do with the "reason for the season", unless it was the Dark Side at work.
Please forgive me if I'm off a day or two in my recollections here, but things got pretty weird/bad/malappropriate {figure that one out...}, but I'll be within a day or two of what happened...maybe.
Christmas Eve day I came down with a cold/flu bug and stayed in my chair reading and feeling cruddy.
I had really wanted to go to the Christmas Eve Service at my church but I just felt toooooooooo bad to even attempt it...but wouldn't you know it, one of those Agents of God brought the Service to me! I was just hunkered down in my chair and " the door flew open and much to my surprise" was a host of Carolers who sang Christmas Carols just outside my front door!"
Thanks Bruce, I love you for that and all the Carolers who came.
That day and that evening there was talk of taking me to the hospital that day, but I was scheduled to go in the day after Christmas for a 2-day tune up, as my chemo Doc called it, to get me back in shape and restart my chemo (three year) regimen.
Well, I checked in to the hospital and almost immediately I was stricken with a mysterious/mischievous virus which yet is unidentied!
The bad news is that it almost took me out.
The good news is that it didn't.
The "funny" news is what it did to me and what I did while under its influence.
OK, I need to say here that I lost and don't remember basically the first week I was in the hospital!!! A lot of what I relate here comes from the folk who came and bed-sided me through this ordeal...and I really hope this is the last time they have to do that...
Physically, I swoll up to be described as a stand in/stunt man-dummy for the Michelin tire guy. They eventually had to drain the excess liquid from my bod starting with my knees, ankles and then catheterized me and I shrunk down to "normal".
Mentally I was just off my rocker.
I'm told that I was convinced that I had just gotten ripped off because I had just preformed a Marriage Ceremony and instead of being "paid" momonetarily that they had paid me with some bad heroin!
From there I went off on some tangent about the hospital being a retail drug outlet for illicit drugs.
My sense of smell must have gotten acute because I had strange things to say and comment on the latex gloves they use so un-sparingly in the hospital and the comments I made, out loud {just couldn't keep my dang mouth shut!}were certainly inappropriate...I'll explain in person if'n you'd like.
I spent 5-7 days just out of my mind and don't remember a dang thing, including Doug having to hand feed me a Peach Upside Down Cake that Bonnie baked and brought in!
She also brought me a Peach Upside Down Cake for my Birthday when I was in the hospital in Denver on my actual Birthday...Wowsers.
Anywho, I put on quite an act whilst I was there.
Thenst, they...the passel of Docs who had worked diligently on me while I was being such a physical and mental idiot...decided that I should go to a ReHab facility for maybe two weeks.
Well, lemme tell you I didn't like that idea at all...right now I couldn't tell you why.
I finally caved and said Okay...
More later. Good night and I love you all.
I'm listening to, "You are the Wind Beneath my Wings", and that wind would be yous.
I'm doing the artesian well of tears right now and those tears are tears of love and gratitude....
'nite.
Why?
Well, when time comes this is going to become part of my journal and maybe part of my "autobiography".
I have been working n an autobiography for probably 10 years now...it's titled I Don't Do Rough Drafts.
Anywho, a lot has happened since I last entered...
I was feeling pretty good, I think, which may have contributed to my lack of blogging and I was preparing to deal with the holidays and skating along until Christmas hit.
What all happened to me had nothing to do with the "reason for the season", unless it was the Dark Side at work.
Please forgive me if I'm off a day or two in my recollections here, but things got pretty weird/bad/malappropriate {figure that one out...}, but I'll be within a day or two of what happened...maybe.
Christmas Eve day I came down with a cold/flu bug and stayed in my chair reading and feeling cruddy.
I had really wanted to go to the Christmas Eve Service at my church but I just felt toooooooooo bad to even attempt it...but wouldn't you know it, one of those Agents of God brought the Service to me! I was just hunkered down in my chair and " the door flew open and much to my surprise" was a host of Carolers who sang Christmas Carols just outside my front door!"
Thanks Bruce, I love you for that and all the Carolers who came.
That day and that evening there was talk of taking me to the hospital that day, but I was scheduled to go in the day after Christmas for a 2-day tune up, as my chemo Doc called it, to get me back in shape and restart my chemo (three year) regimen.
Well, I checked in to the hospital and almost immediately I was stricken with a mysterious/mischievous virus which yet is unidentied!
The bad news is that it almost took me out.
The good news is that it didn't.
The "funny" news is what it did to me and what I did while under its influence.
OK, I need to say here that I lost and don't remember basically the first week I was in the hospital!!! A lot of what I relate here comes from the folk who came and bed-sided me through this ordeal...and I really hope this is the last time they have to do that...
Physically, I swoll up to be described as a stand in/stunt man-dummy for the Michelin tire guy. They eventually had to drain the excess liquid from my bod starting with my knees, ankles and then catheterized me and I shrunk down to "normal".
Mentally I was just off my rocker.
I'm told that I was convinced that I had just gotten ripped off because I had just preformed a Marriage Ceremony and instead of being "paid" momonetarily that they had paid me with some bad heroin!
From there I went off on some tangent about the hospital being a retail drug outlet for illicit drugs.
My sense of smell must have gotten acute because I had strange things to say and comment on the latex gloves they use so un-sparingly in the hospital and the comments I made, out loud {just couldn't keep my dang mouth shut!}were certainly inappropriate...I'll explain in person if'n you'd like.
I spent 5-7 days just out of my mind and don't remember a dang thing, including Doug having to hand feed me a Peach Upside Down Cake that Bonnie baked and brought in!
She also brought me a Peach Upside Down Cake for my Birthday when I was in the hospital in Denver on my actual Birthday...Wowsers.
Anywho, I put on quite an act whilst I was there.
Thenst, they...the passel of Docs who had worked diligently on me while I was being such a physical and mental idiot...decided that I should go to a ReHab facility for maybe two weeks.
Well, lemme tell you I didn't like that idea at all...right now I couldn't tell you why.
I finally caved and said Okay...
More later. Good night and I love you all.
I'm listening to, "You are the Wind Beneath my Wings", and that wind would be yous.
I'm doing the artesian well of tears right now and those tears are tears of love and gratitude....
'nite.
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