Please excuse the brevity of this entry but I think I have to run home and get Rosie because at 1:30 I'm having a PetScan!?!
Okay, bad joke.
I'd never actually heard of a PetScan until now. I guess it's like a CatScan on steroids and it looks for other tumors that may be lurking inside of me somewhere.
This morning I had to go to Poudre Valley Hospital and Pre-Admit myself for surgery on Thursday when they will "install" the port which will in turn allow for friendly chemo treatment without having to tear up the veins in my arms, etc.
Thursday will be a fun day...an Adventuresome day!
First, although it's not until 12:30 or so, I'll have the surgery and they ae going to put me under....yea!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 99!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Huh, you query?
99?
If'n you're an ol' surgery vet like I am you've come to love "99".
And what's "99" you ask?
Wellst, what they do is get you all hunkered down and comfy for the upcoming surgery and they ask you if you want a blanket.
Well the blanket has nothing to do with "99", but they keep those operating rooms at about -24 degrees Fahrenheit, so "Yeah, I want a blanket!"
So after the blankie is in place they start to 'splain the anesthetic process to you and you just nod and grunt in the affirmative that you understand and the anesthecician does a couple of side-straddle-hops (cuz he's cold too!) and sits down and takes a deep breath, checks out the already in place IV and then tells you to count back from 100.
"100, Niiiiiinnnnetyyyyyyyyniiiiiiiii,,,oblivian."
That nano-second of "99" is wonderful x 10!!!!!
~~~~~~~
Just got back from my PetScan...thanks Cindy for the ride!
Twas painless and I actually got to sleep trough most of it!
So, methinks I'm gonna go home, fix myself a couple of fried egg sandwiches (that came to me during the PetScan) and just relax. I've had a lot of drama go on around the home homestead lately and I believe it should be peaceful tonight.
As a good friend of mine salutes...
"Peace and Love"
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Looking ahead to tomorrow...
...and looking ahead to many tomorrows.
What a gorgeous day this was/is.
Went to church this morning and got fed, as usual, but got a little extra gravy on the mashed potatoes and an extra dollop of whipped cream on the blueberry pie when I was bear-hugged and kissed by a number of folk in response to their finding out about my "situation".
"Hey, yous guys!" I yelled silently, "I'm OK!"
And I really am!
Yeah, I have this thing called "cancer" but you know, I really feel fine...except for being tired all the time...but that's gone on for six or seven months, about as long as they figure I've had cancer.
So, if we meet for coffee don't be surprised if I order a quadruple shot latte or if we're gonna go somewhere I get an energy drink...I still drink and drive.
Tomorrow is the day when I go in for Chemo 101, i.e. 2 hrs worth of education about chemotherapy. I dang well better get a certificate of completion that I can give to Tammy, our Office Mgr here to RE/MAX Advanced, to put with all my other Continuing Education certificates.
After that I go directly into an office visit with my Oncologist Dude, a.k.a. Doctor, with whomst we're gonna figure out a schedule of what needs to happen here.
I already know that this coming Thursday I'm getting the port/shunt/whatever put in...same day my brother and sister roll into town to check on the oldest sibling.
Thenst, I be assuming at this point, the following week is when I start the chemo.
Perhaps that week, too, will find me at the University of Colorado Medical Center where we'll be talking 'bout (gulp...I so hate this word) harvesting some of my bone marrow.
Thenst sometime that will happen (they have these teeny little John Deere Tractors and Combines that they send into my bones using transistorized controls to properly and carefully take only the marrow without bruising the inside of my bone walls) and then I think I just complete out the 12 weeks of chemo, have them transplant the harvested marrow back into me and I'm ready to go!
Go where I dunno, but damnit I'll be ready.
I'll let you know how tomorrow goes...
What a gorgeous day this was/is.
Went to church this morning and got fed, as usual, but got a little extra gravy on the mashed potatoes and an extra dollop of whipped cream on the blueberry pie when I was bear-hugged and kissed by a number of folk in response to their finding out about my "situation".
"Hey, yous guys!" I yelled silently, "I'm OK!"
And I really am!
Yeah, I have this thing called "cancer" but you know, I really feel fine...except for being tired all the time...but that's gone on for six or seven months, about as long as they figure I've had cancer.
So, if we meet for coffee don't be surprised if I order a quadruple shot latte or if we're gonna go somewhere I get an energy drink...I still drink and drive.
Tomorrow is the day when I go in for Chemo 101, i.e. 2 hrs worth of education about chemotherapy. I dang well better get a certificate of completion that I can give to Tammy, our Office Mgr here to RE/MAX Advanced, to put with all my other Continuing Education certificates.
After that I go directly into an office visit with my Oncologist Dude, a.k.a. Doctor, with whomst we're gonna figure out a schedule of what needs to happen here.
I already know that this coming Thursday I'm getting the port/shunt/whatever put in...same day my brother and sister roll into town to check on the oldest sibling.
Thenst, I be assuming at this point, the following week is when I start the chemo.
Perhaps that week, too, will find me at the University of Colorado Medical Center where we'll be talking 'bout (gulp...I so hate this word) harvesting some of my bone marrow.
Thenst sometime that will happen (they have these teeny little John Deere Tractors and Combines that they send into my bones using transistorized controls to properly and carefully take only the marrow without bruising the inside of my bone walls) and then I think I just complete out the 12 weeks of chemo, have them transplant the harvested marrow back into me and I'm ready to go!
Go where I dunno, but damnit I'll be ready.
I'll let you know how tomorrow goes...
Saturday, March 27, 2010
My new Adventure...
I see that over on the left beneath my picture I have noted that I only have one kneecap.
And that is true.
Thanks to a "little" fender bender in July of 1985 that damn near, and probably should have, killed me I lost that kneecap, the use of my left arm and was left with some cognitive defects (that I think I hide pretty well!), a gimp to my "get-along" and some stories to tell about drunk driving and how us drunk drivers don't always kill ourselves or other people but often do irreparable damage to ourselves.
Recovery from that was an adventure. Learning to walk again, living with an arm that was basically useless although the hand still functions, having a mind that doesn't always react to situations or problems correctly, and so forth...an adventure.
And then quitting drinking, or should I say stopping starting to drink(?)...
What an Adventure that was!
Wowsers...learning that I was absolutely under the influence of a power greater than myself, a spirit that was unleashed when I put alcohol in my body and made me do, say, think and act in abnormal ways which all really had an evil tint.
And learning that only by turning my will and my life over to the care of a different Spirit could I have a life worth living!
OMG!
What a journey that was and is.
You know, that journey began some 23 years ago and I spend time in tears thinking about those 23 years and how I almost didn't get to have them.
I'm certainly not a rich dude. I'm quite sure that I would be classified as someone of modest means and that's okay...it's really okay. I have a wealth that cannot be measured and I'm beginning to discover the true nature of that wealth.
I know today, March 27, 2010. that my awareness of that wealth and the necessity of experiencing it's true nature began at about 3:32pm, March 17, 2010 when this Dr. told me that I had cancer.
Something called Myeloma.
Without clicking on the link, although if you are interested I would encourage you to click on it, what I have is bone marrow cancer.
Are you wondering about "my" prognosis?
Well, so was I!
I'll know more next week as I see him again and I'm going in with a list of questions, but as I remember from my initial serious meeting with him, I'm going to undergo 12 weeks of chemotherapy (and I'll learn more about that as I attend Chemo-101, a.k.a. Chemotherapy education, on Monday, and should that go well...and it will!!!...I will have a bone marrow transplant (they will transplant back into my my own bone marrow whcih they are going to...and I soooooooooooo hate this word...harvest in a couple of weeks.
And then I should have 5 years, or so...but I'm going with the "or so" and stretching that out a few more years.
You see, I'm 23 years sober but I soooo want to, and am going to be and celebrate being 30 years sober!
When that happens, will you come celebrate with me?
On March 17 I had no clue about this discovery search for wealth, a.k.a. adventure, or anything else.
I just lay in bed for a couple of days knowing that I was going to die, probably within a week and it was going to be painful and ugly.
Not that I'll ever drink again, but those couple of days were spent under the control/influence of a dark power who was relishing in my mental anguish and torture.
As I began to quit fighting with and being angry at God, a.k.a. the Power of Light that presides over us all I began to feel better.
Isn't that funny.
I wasn't fighting the Dark power who was delighting in my state of awfulness and who was trying to, and being successful at making me miserable...I was fighting with God and the Light.
As has happened to me once in a while, I get struck with a moment of clarity.
God didn't cause my cancer anymore than He caused my accident in 1985.
And I recovered from that accident and life has been an adventure ever since!
Someday I might tell you the specifics of my injuries and the mechanics of the recovery thereof as the result of being really drunk and driving my Ford Escort head on into a logging truck, but suffice it to say that it was a bad wreck and I nearly died (actually my heart quit on me three times!)
If I recovered from that, then certainly I have a damn good chance at recovering from this, "Huh."
I just need to keep focused on the Light...
One of the things that has just blown me away is the response by the people who know me to this "situation".
My colleagues at RE/MAX Advanced have rallied around me and offered to help me continue with my business s if nothing is wrong. I cannot be any more humbled and grateful as although I do have insurance it is not going to cover all of my expenses, so I will need to continue working and with and because of there tenderings of help I can.
That Society or Club that I belong to that consists of folks just like me who have solved, or are solving the drink problem have also banded together to make sure that I'm not going to have to go through this alone just like I didn't have to go through becoming a non-drinker alone. They don't like to talk about themselves or their "outfit" very much but if you ever wanted to find them they're listed in the very front of the phone book...it's alphabetical you know.
My Church family is also there to hold me tight. Sometimes that's all that I need or want is to be held and I have declared for many years that men need to be held far more than women do and I get held tightly by the Evangelical Church of Fort Collins. Without that I would fall in a heartbeat.
And there are those who don't appear in any of those three categories but are close to me in ways that are unique and special and who, too, are offering assistance, hugs and love.
I am a blessed man.
I am beginning to appreciate the wealth that is mine.
OK............
There are too many of yous for me to keep in touch with individually about this whole thing and so I've chosen to set this blog up and I will post to it frequently of my Adventure.
Not that we won't touch bases personally, because we will, but this will be a vehicle keeping yous abreast of what's going on with me and will be a healing tool for me, no doubt.
If you are new to Blogging (as I pretty much am), just log in and I will try to set this up so that you can comment and write back.
And that is true.
Thanks to a "little" fender bender in July of 1985 that damn near, and probably should have, killed me I lost that kneecap, the use of my left arm and was left with some cognitive defects (that I think I hide pretty well!), a gimp to my "get-along" and some stories to tell about drunk driving and how us drunk drivers don't always kill ourselves or other people but often do irreparable damage to ourselves.
Recovery from that was an adventure. Learning to walk again, living with an arm that was basically useless although the hand still functions, having a mind that doesn't always react to situations or problems correctly, and so forth...an adventure.
And then quitting drinking, or should I say stopping starting to drink(?)...
What an Adventure that was!
Wowsers...learning that I was absolutely under the influence of a power greater than myself, a spirit that was unleashed when I put alcohol in my body and made me do, say, think and act in abnormal ways which all really had an evil tint.
And learning that only by turning my will and my life over to the care of a different Spirit could I have a life worth living!
OMG!
What a journey that was and is.
You know, that journey began some 23 years ago and I spend time in tears thinking about those 23 years and how I almost didn't get to have them.
I'm certainly not a rich dude. I'm quite sure that I would be classified as someone of modest means and that's okay...it's really okay. I have a wealth that cannot be measured and I'm beginning to discover the true nature of that wealth.
I know today, March 27, 2010. that my awareness of that wealth and the necessity of experiencing it's true nature began at about 3:32pm, March 17, 2010 when this Dr. told me that I had cancer.
Something called Myeloma.
Without clicking on the link, although if you are interested I would encourage you to click on it, what I have is bone marrow cancer.
Are you wondering about "my" prognosis?
Well, so was I!
I'll know more next week as I see him again and I'm going in with a list of questions, but as I remember from my initial serious meeting with him, I'm going to undergo 12 weeks of chemotherapy (and I'll learn more about that as I attend Chemo-101, a.k.a. Chemotherapy education, on Monday, and should that go well...and it will!!!...I will have a bone marrow transplant (they will transplant back into my my own bone marrow whcih they are going to...and I soooooooooooo hate this word...harvest in a couple of weeks.
And then I should have 5 years, or so...but I'm going with the "or so" and stretching that out a few more years.
You see, I'm 23 years sober but I soooo want to, and am going to be and celebrate being 30 years sober!
When that happens, will you come celebrate with me?
On March 17 I had no clue about this discovery search for wealth, a.k.a. adventure, or anything else.
I just lay in bed for a couple of days knowing that I was going to die, probably within a week and it was going to be painful and ugly.
Not that I'll ever drink again, but those couple of days were spent under the control/influence of a dark power who was relishing in my mental anguish and torture.
As I began to quit fighting with and being angry at God, a.k.a. the Power of Light that presides over us all I began to feel better.
Isn't that funny.
I wasn't fighting the Dark power who was delighting in my state of awfulness and who was trying to, and being successful at making me miserable...I was fighting with God and the Light.
As has happened to me once in a while, I get struck with a moment of clarity.
God didn't cause my cancer anymore than He caused my accident in 1985.
And I recovered from that accident and life has been an adventure ever since!
Someday I might tell you the specifics of my injuries and the mechanics of the recovery thereof as the result of being really drunk and driving my Ford Escort head on into a logging truck, but suffice it to say that it was a bad wreck and I nearly died (actually my heart quit on me three times!)
If I recovered from that, then certainly I have a damn good chance at recovering from this, "Huh."
I just need to keep focused on the Light...
One of the things that has just blown me away is the response by the people who know me to this "situation".
My colleagues at RE/MAX Advanced have rallied around me and offered to help me continue with my business s if nothing is wrong. I cannot be any more humbled and grateful as although I do have insurance it is not going to cover all of my expenses, so I will need to continue working and with and because of there tenderings of help I can.
That Society or Club that I belong to that consists of folks just like me who have solved, or are solving the drink problem have also banded together to make sure that I'm not going to have to go through this alone just like I didn't have to go through becoming a non-drinker alone. They don't like to talk about themselves or their "outfit" very much but if you ever wanted to find them they're listed in the very front of the phone book...it's alphabetical you know.
My Church family is also there to hold me tight. Sometimes that's all that I need or want is to be held and I have declared for many years that men need to be held far more than women do and I get held tightly by the Evangelical Church of Fort Collins. Without that I would fall in a heartbeat.
And there are those who don't appear in any of those three categories but are close to me in ways that are unique and special and who, too, are offering assistance, hugs and love.
I am a blessed man.
I am beginning to appreciate the wealth that is mine.
OK............
There are too many of yous for me to keep in touch with individually about this whole thing and so I've chosen to set this blog up and I will post to it frequently of my Adventure.
Not that we won't touch bases personally, because we will, but this will be a vehicle keeping yous abreast of what's going on with me and will be a healing tool for me, no doubt.
If you are new to Blogging (as I pretty much am), just log in and I will try to set this up so that you can comment and write back.
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