Musings on dying...

Below please find a blurb I was asked to do for my Church newsletter.
Please to understand that with minor editing I could write it for a number of other "groups" and individuals...

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Musing on almost dying…

            As a lot of my ECC Fellowshippers know, for a lot of years I’ve been a card carrying member of Alcoholics Anonymous (Shhhhhh! Don’t tell anybody unless you want to or think I might be able to be of help to someone!!), the Granddaddy of all 12 Step Programs.

            The Third Step of which is, “Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.”

            My first near death experience came as a direct result of my alcoholism back in 1985 when, drunk, I got into a horrific car accident which nearly cost me my life.

            My most recent was/is Multiple Myeloma…an incurable form of blood/bone marrow cancer and I’ve gone through the disease and the treatment thereof sober, although not always of sound mind.

            After several months of chemo and other preparation, on August 25^th I had a stem cell transplant, which the Drs. say will statistically give me another 10 years!

            The period of time leading up to the transplant was a piece of cake.

            The week or 10 days after was a nightmare.

            A combination of chemo, my body writhing trying to accept the stem cells, even if they were my own and an extended visit by the Dark Side dang near did me in.

            I got to the point where I wanted to die and to the point I was transferred to intensive care. I remember pretending to be asleep and there were two nurses hovering around and one said to the other, “Is he going to make it?”

            The response was quick, “We’re not sure.”

            I can remember thinking, “Oh, good. This might all be over soon.”

            At that moment and for a period of days before and after I was under the influence of a power/spirit greater than myself and I was the soccer ball in a soccer game called Spiritual Warfare.

            Had I not taken that Third Step and made that part and parcel of my life I would have not survived this ordeal.

            Even at my lowest when I was telling relatives and people that I was wanted to and was going to die, the bilateralness of pact I made with God proved itself. He kept His Word and even though I wanted to check out, He held me tight and protected me from the Dark Side and from dying.

            How’d He do that?

            Through you guys and others who lifted me up in prayer, came to see me, called me, e-mailed me and sent me all those fabulous birthday cards which one of you taped to the wall of my hospital room directly across from my bed.

            Perhaps you have never been aware of God the Father acting in behalf of, in protection of and fighting to keep you whole…I have.

            Coming up on two months since my transplant I am home getting well enough to return to work and having a lt of time to reflect on this new life that I have been given and knowing exactly the Source of this life.

           

Sidebar, sorta: I thank God for this life and I thank you for this life. But a simple thank you seems sooooooo woefully inadequate.

                        I don’t have the words.

                        As Agents of His Goodness, He, through you saved a wretch like me.

                        Thank you.