IJDFM...

So, it's approaching Sunday evening and I have felt like c*** for two days.
Just like the last time I had a round of Neupogen shots, I get bone pain which is really hard to describe...but it hurts like h***. Along with that I get a flu like feeling with achy joints and muscles, a low grade headache and
                                                    ***************...that was yesterday and my dinner came and afterwards I was just to dang exhausted to finish.

So now it is Monday, and as we "speak" I am getting harvested of stem cells!

But let me get back to yesterday and IJDFM.
I had thought been lead to believe that I was going to be here for the duration, meaning through another collection of stem cells (they/we didn't get enough the 1st time), through Conditioning, a.k.a. turbo chemo virtually wiping out most of my white blood cells, platelets and taking a toll on my red blood cells, through the 1 day break  and then the transfusion, which only takes a day, and then the 3 week inpatient bubble boy thing followed by a 3-6 week stint in transitional housing thenst back home.
Well, all that changed with the interjection of a 2-10 day discharge/re-admission stint spell dictated by the insurance co. (?).
When I found that out I went ballistic.
For the first time in years, maybe since I got sober, I felt like throwing something...I didn't, but I sure felt like it...
Maybe that all came about as the result of me watching, so far, all but one of the entire seasons of 24...when I grow up I wanna be just like Jack Bauer... .
Anywho, I threw tantrums, over-voiced my opinion to anyone who had scrubs or a tie on and of course got no where.
Somewhere in my mental rage, Cindy showed up and calmed me down.
Thanks to her, I was able to cull things down to It Just Don't F***ing Matter to by the time she left, It Just Don't Frickin' Matter...IJDFM.
You know, it really doesn't. In the grand scheme of things, what's 2-10 days, a.k.a. a few days, matter. Next year at this time when I'm all more better and can look back at all this and laugh {And if I'll be able to look back at next year and laugh, why shouldn't I laugh at it now?} why should I sweat a few days, right?
I'll be home for Christmas...that would make a great song lyric wouldn't it?
Now I'm getting de-hooked up from my cell extracting machine and am surrounded by nurses, one of which seems over anxious to give me my Neupogen shots-which I did not get during my last collection.
I thought of taking a picture of my belly and posting it, but that would be toooooooo gross and inappropriate.
Suffice it to say it's black and blue from one side do the other. My other option would be to get all these shots in my armpit!
No thanks, please!
I asked why I hat to get them in my belly or my armpit and was told it was for quick absorption.
OK, they do Medicine and I do Real Estate and I know I'm good at what I do and I trust they are good at what they do!
I''m dehooked, which is 'bout as good as being de-detethered...maybe even better because when I'm tethered I can still pull my pole around but when I'm hooked up to the cell-collection machine I'm there for the count.
So, I think I'll grab a mask and go down to the Cafe and get myself a treat!