Oh the frustrations...

Really, just when I thought I knew what was going on, Blam! Sock! Bang! Sploosh! Splat! ...my attempt at the ol' Batman TV Show.
I thought I was here for the duration, i.e. Neupogen shots, Stem Cell collection, Conditioning (turbo-chemo), Transplant, Bubble Boy, Transitional Housing, House arrest, Freedom.
Two or three days ago my main Dr. comes in and lays a bomb on me...at least for me it's a bomb...that after collection he's going to send me home for a week or 10 days...been there done that and it lasted three days and each one of those three days I had to drive back down here for something before they lured me back with an urgent need to see a Cardiologist that never transpired.
I don't speak broken Korean-medical-English and as he blew into my room washed his hands, told me and washed his hand as e was leaving I hardly had time to get a word in edgewise.
The next day, so I guess that would make it two days ago he came in...my days tend to run together, which would have been yesterday (maybe?) he came in and determined to get the first word in as soon as I saw it was him I jumped out of bed and we sparred. He, I think, began to waffle and in broken-medical-English said he'd look into it and would let me know by the end of the day...which did not happen, of course.
So, as I write I am sitting at my "hospital desk", watching House at 8:44 in the morning which is somehow appropriate and waiting for him to come in.
After he left yesterday I was guardedly optimistic that I would be able to stay for the duration...but now I'm not so sure.
I just want this over and done with.
There was a time when I said that I would ante cede it with, whatever the result. But I don't mean that now. What I  mean is that I want to get my life back and then I think I'm being left out of the loop, have no say in what is happening with my life and am simply out of control.
When that starts to happen I begin to spiral downward and using all nine of my fingernails slow my descent long enough to where I can grab on to something and just hold on...and that's where I am now.
BTW, the plan was for them to begin collection of my cells at 8:00 and it's now 8:51.
Why should I be surprised...not a question but a statement.
I'm waiting..........9:01...9:10...9:19...am I sensing a nine second fuse here?...
He just came in...


I'm staying, I'm staying, I'm staying!


Yippee! Skippee! Hippee! Hippee: Horayee! 
No TV Show, I'm just the happiest patient in the Univeritey of Colorado Hospital!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!