Whew...

Thank God for my Angels, and I hope you know who you are...
I owe you Cindy, big time and the Anderson's do to...although in a different fashion because I know you and your business ethic and you've done them an outstanding job in my stead.

I need for you(s) to know that even though I am seeming to whine a lot, this tough stuff is just part of the journey which makes the adventure and thanks to yous guys and your love and support I'm gonna make it though this.

For a Christmas past my friends and almost vicarious family the Freedle's gave me the CD set of Randy Pausch, that professor guy who had some sort of incurable cancer and had but a short time to live and indeed went home not that long ago. Although Myeloma is generally considered an incurable form of cancer (Myeloma), there is something called "induced remission" that they are going to put me in...heavy on the "are".
I have watched a Randy Pausch video and listened to the CD's, although I'm having trouble installing them on my computer so that I can listen to them here at the office. His attitude is something that I aspire to...he was going home for sure and sorta knew when.
I'm going home, but I sorta don't know when but it's damn well not going to because of Myeloma.
I remember when I was first told of my diagnosis that, "More people are dying with myeloma than of it."
So, I'm gonna be one of those folks...I am!

Just had one of those wierd thoughts...It's too bad Dr. Suess couldn't have written a book about a character having myeloma but being an I am and I therefore an "am not"...or some such.

I had a magnificent night's sleep last night. It takes me a while to fall asleep, and recently it has been a fitful night's rest, but last night and into the late morning I had a grand sleep.
Was awoke by another angel coming to check on me because I has unintentionally MIA as my phone took an unceremonious vacation so I was unreachable.
I sooo appreciate the time you took to come over Carolyn, it means a lot to me that people like you care.

Which brings me to another point that I don't know how to make.

When you come up to me and ask me. "How are you?" and I start to cry it's not because I hurt or because I have cancer, it's because I find it hard to believe that you care. Thank you for caring and pleeeeeeeze accept my apologies for not knowing how to graciously accept your care.
I'll think on all this and maybe talk about it later.